Struggling Alone as a Student in the Philippines and Want to Quit: What to Do Before You Go

First: are you safe right now?

If you are having thoughts like not wanting to live or wanting to disappear, or you have stopped eating and sleeping and cannot function, this needs someone else involved now. It is not something to push through alone.

Do one thing right now: tell a person. A roommate, a classmate, a teacher, the dorm manager, or a video call home. Say something as simple as I am not doing well and I need someone with me. You do not need to explain why and there is nothing shameful about it. Most schools have a guidance office or counselling centre, and campus clinics can usually refer you in an emergency. If it is urgent, go to the emergency room of the nearest hospital; how emergency care works in the Philippines is in Philippine emergency rooms.

If you are worried about a classmate showing these signs, do not leave them alone. Go with them to the counselling office or hospital and let their family or the school know. When you are with them, listen more than you advise. More on what helps in the moment is in when someone is in crisis. Only once safety is settled should you start thinking about studies; that order matters.

Keep the number of the school's counselling office and the address of the nearest hospital saved on your phone, and share them with a trusted friend. In a bad moment, not having to search for anything makes it easier to reach out.

Agree with one person that they will check on you at a set time each day for the next while. Knowing that someone will ask makes the hardest evenings shorter.

Separate the feeling from the decision

Decisions made at your lowest point are often not the ones you really want. Deal with the feelings first, and make academic decisions once things are a little steadier.

Homesickness, loneliness, struggling with the language, academic pressure, falling out with roommates and money worries are all extremely common among international students, especially in the first semester and around exams. When they pile up, going home can look like the only way out. But many people who leave regret it a few weeks later, because leaving ends today's pain and also closes the door on studying abroad, and enrolment, the student visa and fees already paid cannot easily be restored.

Give yourself a cooling-off period. For two to four weeks, do not sign withdrawal forms, end your lease or buy a one-way ticket. Use that time for three things only: getting support, getting your sleep and routine back, and finding out what each option would really cost. If you still want to go home afterwards, that is a considered decision and you can close things out properly. If you feel somewhat better, that does not mean what you felt was not real; it means that with support there is more than one path.

Tell the people supporting you that you are in a cooling-off period, so they can help you hold to it on the hardest days. Write down why you wanted to leave in the first week and read it again at the end; seeing what has changed, and what has not, is useful information for the decision.

Where to find support

The school counselling office is the closest support and understands the academic rules; a professional counsellor or doctor is essential if low mood persists. You can use both at the same time.

Counselling offices exist at most Philippine universities and are usually free or covered by tuition. A counsellor can talk things through with you and can help you ask teachers for extensions or make-up exams. If English is hard, ask them to go slowly, or ask whether a Chinese-speaking classmate can come with you. If low mood lasts more than two weeks and is affecting sleep, eating or attending class, see a doctor or a professional counsellor; Chinese-language online counselling and when to see a doctor are covered in mental health support in the Philippines. Whether you need medication or treatment is for a doctor to judge in person.

Everyday support counts too: hometown associations, the international student association, language exchange groups, faith communities and sports clubs all make you less isolated. Keep a regular call time with family and tell them how things really are rather than only the good news. If your distress is tied to something specific on campus, such as being bullied or mistreated by a professor, deal with that issue directly; see fraternity pressure and hazing and harassment by a professor.

If the first counsellor or doctor is not a good fit, it is fine to ask for someone else. Finding the right person sometimes takes a second try, and that is not a sign the help does not work. Keep a short note of how you are sleeping and feeling each day to share at appointments; it helps them see patterns you may not notice yourself.

Options between pushing on and quitting

Between grinding on and dropping out completely there are at least four other paths: a lighter load, a leave of absence, transferring, or going home for a while. Each affects your enrolment and visa differently.

A lighter load means dropping units this semester so you can pass what you keep, which suits cases where academic pressure is the main problem; foreign students may have a minimum load, so ask the international student office first to avoid visa trouble. A leave of absence keeps your place for a semester or a year while you recover at home; what happens to your student visa while your status is paused is in student visa after leaving school. Transferring may make more sense than quitting if the problem is this school or this city, and how many units carry over depends on the receiving school's assessment.

Going home for a while, over a break or during a leave, lets you be with family before deciding whether to return. Watch your visa dates closely so it does not lapse while you are away and force a fresh application when you come back. If money is part of the pressure, when your allowance stops covers deferral and reducing your load in practical terms. Writing down the cost of each path side by side is far clearer than turning it over in your head at night.

Talk the options through with the counselling office and the international student office together if you can. The counsellor understands where you are emotionally, and the international office understands the visa side, so between them you get a realistic picture of what each path would involve and how long it would take.

If you decide to leave: close it out in order

Deciding to leave is nothing to be ashamed of, but finish the formal process before you go rather than simply disappearing. Overstays, unpaid balances and gaps in your records become problems later if you want to return, transfer or come back to the Philippines.

The order is roughly this. Submit a formal withdrawal or leave application to the school and get written approval and your transcript. Ask the international student office when your student status ends, and handle your visa as immigration requires so you do not overstay. Then deal with housing, deposits, your phone and bank accounts. Finally, confirm you owe the school nothing. Make sure you have your transcript and enrolment records, because you will need them to continue studying at home or to have your studies recognised.

If you are not well enough to do all of this alone, ask family to help remotely, or ask a trusted classmate or counsellor to come with you; some steps can also be done through an authorised representative. Before leaving, say goodbye to your counsellor, since some schools can suggest support to continue once you are home. After you get back, give yourself time to recover rather than rushing to prove yourself with the next plan.

Keep digital copies of every document from the process in a folder you can access from home, and send a copy to a family member. If you decide to return or continue your studies elsewhere a year from now, having everything in one place will save a great deal of chasing, and you will not need to rely on the school answering emails from abroad.

What family can do, and how Yixing can help

The most useful thing parents can do is not to say hang in there or come home now, but to listen first, take the weight, and then look at the options together.

When your child says they cannot go on, hold off on judgement and ask: are you safe right now, how are you sleeping and eating, what is hardest. If there are thoughts of self-harm, help them contact the school and medical services quickly, ask someone nearby to stay with them, and consider travelling to be with them for a while. Do not use the money already spent as pressure; it only makes it harder for them to tell you the truth. Contact the counselling office and international student office directly to understand how leave and transfers work at that school.

If you want help untangling a leave of absence, a transfer, the student visa and the return home, contact the Yixing settling-in team. We do not provide counselling or medical services, we do not represent any school, and we cannot make decisions for a school or for immigration. Yixing International Travel is a private consultancy registered with the Philippine SEC (CS202009551), holding BI Accreditation No. CA-202624381-1 (valid to 2027-06-30) plus DOLE and PRA accreditation. We are not affiliated with any school, platform or government office.

Parents should look after themselves too. Hearing that a child far away is struggling is frightening, and it helps to have someone to talk to at home as well, so that you can stay calm and steady on the calls where your child needs it most, and keep listening even when the news is hard.